hey again!!!! sooo I have a story to share & it's kind of a hard story to share....but I want to. I want to tell you about the power of my God. so that you can see His faithfulness through my weaknesses.
for a while now I've been praying for humility. and sometimes God likes to make you wait and wait and wait a little longer to find out what He has in store. He promises to hear our prayers, but sometimes He answers them in ways that aren't exactly how we were hoping. for me, these past few weeks/months have been like riding on a rollercoaster. emotionally I'm drained. physically I'm drained. spiritually I'm drained. & I just feel kinda lost, unsure of which way to go, where to turn, or what to do.. but every second has brought unexpected blessings that I couldn't have dreamed up on my own.
on the first day of competition at Nationals in San Antonio (for trap&skeet) we shot international trap. a discipline we only see once or twice a year. that wasn't the problem though. my mind was everywhere besides where it needed to be to compete to the best of my ability. I don't know where it was, but it sure wasn't there. I was struggling to hit a single bird. we had full use of our guns and I still continued to miss. I was trying and trying to figure out where I was missing by adjusting my lead a few times but nothing seemed to work. I couldn't hit a thing. I was incredibly frustrated but trying to stay cool and collected, hoping that patience with myself would help me regain my focus. the rounds came and went and I ended with a score of 11...out of 100. yikes. I don't know if I had ever shot so poorly without having a single clue as to what I was doing wrong. I. had. no. idea. & I still don't. but I had to take a step back and realize that that score does not define me as a shooter, as a teammate, or as a person. I let a tear slide and with it—everything that I had given power to define my purpose. it was time for a fresh start. I knew I couldn't do it on my own. I had nothing to offer. humbly, I approached the Lord for strength. strength to let go, move on, and be okay.
we had to shoot sporties that afternoon, and I knew I couldn't dwell on what I didn't know. so I smiled, thanked God for the sunshine, and embraced the moment at hand. even if I would have stayed in the slump I was in that morning, the Lord was beside me, fighting for me. there are more important things in life than how I rank. my identity does not come from what I can accomplish in this world. it comes from what Jesus has already accomplished. and how He has graciously invited me to claim what is His to be my own accomplishment. with my team behind me and my God before me, I was strengthened. I ended up with a score to contribute to our top squad. I was humbled also by all those around me, reminding me of the greatness to just be. to be with these people in this moment in this place. I am honored to do life next to these people and truly blessed by all God has done in my life. God is faithful always, through the highest highs and the lowest lows, He remains the same. He is steadfast.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
2 Corinthians 12:9-10
God has so much more to give than we could ever offer in return. His will for your life may look nothing like what you imagined, but I guarantee—when you let Him take the pen, He will write a story more beautiful than you could ever put into words. I am beyond thankful for all the people He has put in my life...the joy-bringers, the bold leaders, the hug-givers, & the ones that show up at just the right time. our Father provides graciously & abundantly. let's start to look above instead of within.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
Ephesians 3:20-21
