last night was tough it had been awhile I had been so confident in my freedom and that's not to say I now doubt God but I had been denying sins effect in my life I have been set free
but I still fall into darkness sometimes and last night was one of those nights
I listened to the lies I let fear into my heart I was weak
I began to believe I was unlovable even as I wrote God's truth on my paper it did resonate in my heart
yet it was clouded by the haze of darkness
I felt shame for my words earlier spoken thought that they defined who I was instead of what God had done for me
I believed that the world would overcome my life instead of the One who is sovereign over it
I listened to the thoughts that cut deep I felt regret and wondered if anyone could love someone like me someone who said one thing yet lived out another
I doubted God's ability in their lives the ability to love me through it
through the dirt through the pain through the broken heart
learning to heal
still growing
and still becoming
but God's love is so much more
even if they don't love me through it HE already has
and that is enough for meÂ